Respond, in your own words, and referencing your own experiences, to the validity of Gay’s question: “What if joy and pain are fundamentally tangled up with one another?”

I think joy and pain are tangled up in a way. When you are doing something that you experience joy, you always know it will end because nothing can last forever, unless it is a repeating experience. Also, if good things are constantly happening to you, you will get used to it, but if something bad happens, then something good happens, the good thing will feel even happier and even better, but if bad things constantly happen to you, it can also make the good thing not feel like it matters or helps.

Gay advocates that we “lay down our swords and invite sorrow in.” What does he mean? Do you agree? Why or why not?

I think he means that do not try to fight having sorrow and to let sorrow help you and to find happiness in sorrow. I think sorrow can help us understand others, but it can also make joy harder to find. Having sorrow can help understand that bad things can happen to everyone. If someone has a bad experience, it can lead to them doing things that they would not have normally done. Having sorrow towards that person can help understand why they did that and it can make the other person feel better by being understood. However, having sorrow can also be bad. If you only think about the bad things that have happened to yourself, it can lead to you having trouble finding happiness and good experiences. If something bad happens and you have too much sorrow, it can be all that you think about and it will lead to a harder time finding joy.

What, very specifically, incites joy in your life? Make a specific/descriptive list of at least ten things: the moment just before my favorite band walks on stage; walking through crunchy leaves; the feeling after a difficult but fruitful conversation, etc. Be as specific as possible.

1. Coming home from college and opening the door to my dogs and seeing them jump around from excitement
2. When we fostered dogs, seeing them go from very scared to calm and the first time I get to pet them
3. Watching my 3 cousins open their birthday presents and seeing how happy they get
4. When I tested for my 2nd degree black belt, all of us sitting and waiting, then each being called to get our belt
5. When I get to Connecticut and get to see my cousins again
6. Taking my dogs on a walk in the fall when the weather is perfect
7. Going skiing down a mountain that is just a little bit of a challenge
8. Taking a test that I didn’t think I did good on and finding out I got a good grade
9. When I feel included and someone asks if I want to sit with them at the dining hall
10. Thinking about all of the great memories that I had when I was younger, especially with people who are no longer here

What do you notice about your list? What does the list reveal about you and the ways in which you engage with the world?

I notice that the things on my list are things that are important to me. My dogs and fosters, my cousins, and memories from when I was younger are 3 things that are really important to me and have helped me in some way. This shows that what brings you joy are things that are important to you.

In what specific ways does Ross Gay’s essay interact with Zadie Smith’s? What’s the value of Gay’s essay, through the lens of a college student?

He mentioned that Zadie called sorrow intolerable, but he says that it is good and that it can tie together with joy. He says it will bring people together, but Zadie said that sorrow makes joy a bad thing because it will cause you to be less happy, even if you experience more joy, that means you also experience more pain and sorrow.