How effective is what you say?

I think I can be more specific about whether I agree or not. There are a few times in my third essay that I think are a little bit unclear whether I agree with the quote or not. I think I also need to go into more details with explaining what I think about each claim before the “they say” part. I think I connected the “they say” and “I say” parts better than in the last two essays, but I think I can use more transition words.

In the forth paragraph of my third essay, I start with a claim, then go right into a quote. I think I need to add more of my opinion or add my own experience more. In this paragraph, I do not talk a lot about what I think about the good things that can come with sorrow. I think my explanation of the quote is pretty good where I say that if nothing bad happened, good things would not seem as happy, but I think I can add more experience and opinions and use transition words between Zadie’s example and my thoughts.

Have you tied it together?

I think in essay 3, I have done a little bit better with the structure of giving a claim, an example, quote, explaining the quote, then explaining why it matters and my opinion, but I think I can do better with explaining how the quote relates back to my thesis. In the second paragraph of my third essay, I start by saying the main idea, which is that sorrow can be good, then I give an example of how it can be good. After that, I paraphrase a quote by Ross Gay about his metaphor of the potluck, then explain it. Then, I did the same thing with another source. After this, I connected the two. In this paragraph, I did not give a lot of my opinion and I think I need more of my opinion to balance the summary.

I think I can explain more about how it relates back to my thesis. I think I can also use more transition words and trying to stop saying “this shows” or “this quote shows.” In that same paragraph, while explaining the paraphrased quote, I said, “This example shows” I should change that to be more specific.